Vyatkaloosa Lecture
Welcome back class, (statement apologizing for delay) (statement explaining delay), anywho, let's begin this weeks lesson. The Planet Vyatkaloosa The Equus Planet Vyatkaloosa is well known throughout the federations for their main species, the Marellions, use as sla... I mean servants, but few know how the federation first came into contact with this budding eutopia. Back in the year 20XX, an explorer... yes (1st patreon supporter)? No, I remember what year it was, but if I just tell you everything then what are you students going to learn outside of these lectures... that don't require removing your pants. What was I saying? Oh yes, an explorer named Clyde Humperdale grew tired of the monotony of Space Corps' political intrigue and endless orgies, so when the ship he was stationed on landed on the uninhabited planet then known as Omicron Persei 9, he asked to remain on the planet to study it closely, alone. According to documents found in the space corps servers, the only things he took with him were a weeks worth of rations, some basic monitoring equipment, and his pet horse Moxy. After the week had past, his crew returned to the surface to find him but could find no trace. Records show he was kind of a dick so I doubt the crew looked long for him. The crew wrote a report saying that the planet was extremely dangerous and to avoid the planet at all costs, so Space Corps established a No-Go perimeter around the then known Omicron Persei 9. Yes (2nd patreon supporter), like the perimeter around your anus. Where the fuck do we get these guys. Then around the year 29XX, SHUT UP (1st patreon supporter), Ace pilot Hymie Pounder was shot down and crashed on the then known Omicron Persei 9. Emerging from the wreckage, he witnessed a battle happening between three extremely different looking horse-like people. No (3rd patreon supporter), not like a centaur, more like humans who look like horses... I don't know who Sarah Jessica Parker is so I wouldn't be able to confirm that. Anywho, Hymie noticed that two of the different species were fighting the third, and losing, so he took his blaster shot the third, killing it and saving the other two creatures. The two trotted up to Hymie and thanked him for helping them. Since we did not have their native languages installed into our universal translators yet, all he heard was neighs and screams, which would obviously scare anyone, not me though. The frail male then stabbed Hymie in the head with a large syringe it had acquired from a satchel it was wearing. Hymie panicked further until he realized he could now understand the new alien species. Species'? Specieses? After explaining his situation to the new aliens, the frail male alien, whose species we now call Equinox, agreed to help repair his ship, or at least make a functioning SOS beacon, with his species superior intellect, and extreme humility scoff, while the fit female, whose species we all know as Marellions, told him the war they are in against the Pegaturians and how The All-Mother Moxy virgin birthed their three species after forming the planet with her own hoofs. It is against Space Corps regulations to contradict, alter, or correct their beliefs in anyway, no matter how stupidly unbelievable it is. After the Equinox activated the SOS beacon, guess he wasn't as smart as he thought he was, Space Corps sent a rescue shuttle to pick up Hymie and start diplomatic relations with the Marellions and the Equinox. This lecture was a lot longer than I thought it would be. Our next lecture will be on the Marellions, unless I get distracted by something shiny or vibrating or.... class dismissed. Category:Lectures Category:Fan Fic